We had a visitor who gave a lecture on love. It was an impressive analysis of existing research. At one point she explained that in meaningful conversations two people may begin to mimic each other. Their behaviors become linked in a dance like pattern. This is called synchrony. When synchrony occurs it increases the generation of oxytocin in the brain, which creates feelings of love. She indicated that when two people are really attuned, speaking and listening deeply their brains also begin to function in the same way (neural synchrony). She put up a picture of Mr. Spock and said, “It is like a mini mind meld.” The two people become linked in such a way that they are increasing each others positive feelings. They are putting each other in an upward spiral.
Her perspective suggests that love is a dynamic process. She closed with an interesting thought. She said, “love is like bread, it has to be made anew over and over again.”
The image of continually making fresh bread challenges the notion of “falling” in love. It suggests that I will experience more relationships of love as I do the work of lifting myself, of making myself new or fresh or more conscious. When we do the work of self-elevation, when we enact our best self, we find that we have a self that we can more easily love. When we love our self, in this high sense, our ego needs fall away and we find the capacity to more fully love others. We don’t often think about the concept of love in connection with our co-workers. Imagine how our work experience might change if we did.